Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
NoShamevember. You game?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
