Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
