i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
