Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
