My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
