I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
