unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize