why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
