Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We're not piercing ourselves today.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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