Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize