If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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