So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
