ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
