he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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