Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We left an ass print on the piano.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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