I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
