I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
