Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
