at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
