i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
