I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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