So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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