I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
