I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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