I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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