Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
