playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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