The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
