Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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