The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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