Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
