Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
