I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
