Kiss
Puke
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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