just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
