Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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