Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
