My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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