I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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