You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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