I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
