when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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