I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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