How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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