check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
