i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
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You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
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Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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