the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
