Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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