I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
