you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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