note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
