so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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