i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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