And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
