we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
