4 words: hood of his car
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
