So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
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Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
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Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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