quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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