Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
