eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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