Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
