Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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